


You Give Me Butterflies

by ObscureReference



Category: Original Work
Genre: (NOT eating disorder), F/F, Magical Realism, Romance, Vomiting, high school setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 20:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6165406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObscureReference/pseuds/ObscureReference
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I probably have a condition."</p>
<p>"Yeah," Nia said. "Lovesickness. That's your condition."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or, Mei is a regular girl who gets a funny feeling in her stomach around the person she likes. The rest isn't so regular.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Give Me Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this around the end of my senior year in high school and ended up not doing anything with it. For a long, long time. After rereading it and editing it about twenty times in the past few weeks between classes, I've finally decided to post it here. 
> 
> I've written fanfic before, but never an original story, so posting this has actually made me pretty nervous. Please, if you have any critiques or things I could improve on or things you find a problem with, point them out to me and I'll do my best to either fix them or keep them in mind for the future.
> 
> This work actually takes places in a larger universe I created, so who knows? I may continue it sometime. 
> 
> As a warning to anyone who doesn't like death, this story opens up with mentions of Ophelia's suicide from Hamlet. So if that makes you uncomfortable, please skip down to "You want to compare notes later?" It doesn't ever come up again.
> 
> Happy reading!

"Mei."

She leaned so close that a few strands of her dark hair tickled Mei's cheek. Mei shifted in her seat and resisted the urge to rub her skin.

"Can I borrow one of your pens?" Allison whispered. With one slender finger, she pointed to the multi-colored set of glitter pens piled on Mei's desk. Mei swallowed. At the head of the classroom, Ms. Evans continued to nod along to another student's analysis of _Hamlet._ It was all one long buzz to her ears.

Allison always dressed nicely, but today it looked like she had especially gone out of her way to look good. Her white lace dress contrasted sharply with her dark skin. The sight made Mei's mouth dry.

"Sure," she somehow managed to whisper back.

She fumbled with picking a particular pen and sent all three crashing to the floor. They rolled in separate directions, and for the third time that day Mei was forced to stretch and grope around almost blindly for something she had dropped. Across the room, McKenzie continued voicing her confusion as to _like, how come Ophelia drowns when the water isn't even that deep?_

She found the first two pens quicker than she hoped and froze on the third, which had found its resting place right next to Allison's left foot. Leaning over would put them dangerously close.

Allison giggled softly, and before Mei could work up the nerve to move, snatched the last pen off the floor in one fluid motion. Her hair brushed Mei's leg as she leaned back up. Mei opened her mouth to say either _sorry_ or _please throw me in a hole forever_ , but her tongue felt too thick to form the words. Allison smiled wider.

"Thanks for the pen," she said. She twirled it between her fingers twice before glancing over at the teacher. McKenzie's mouth had twisted in a way it never did outside of class as Ms. Evans pointed out something in the text.

Allison shifted in her seat. There was next to no space between their desks. Absently, she reached up and tugged at the short sleeve of her dress. It was impossible for Mei to focus on anything else.

Something tightened in Mei's stomach. Everything was horrible.

It didn't end there. Allison's arm brushed her's, once, twice, three times. She leaned in once more, close enough that her breath tickled Mei's ear. McKenzie was still talking, but Mei couldn't say about what.

"You've read this before, right?" Allison asked. Mei had. She couldn't remember how Allison had known. "Even if you haven't, isn't it obvious why Ophelia died? She killed herself. I don't know how that's so hard to understand."

Mei's breath had caught in her throat and it was all she could do to shrug in response. Allison shifted closer and continued.

"Even if he _was_ going mad, Hamlet treated Ophelia like trash. She should have found someone who was a lot nicer to her and not be so hung up on that guy."

A small noise left Mei's throat. Allison paused and looked at her patiently, like she was willing to wait for as long as she needed for Mei to stumble through her thought process. It was probably true. Allison was sweet like that.

"I mean," Mei said softly. "Suicide is a bit much, but sometimes you really can't help who you're hung up on, I guess."

It felt like that one sentence knocked the wind out of her and taken all her strength with it. Allison hummed.

"I guess you're right," she said. "It just sucks, you know? Ophelia had her whole life ahead of her. She could have done anything. But I guess you can fall in love with all sorts of people, whether or not they like you back. So that part really can't be helped."

_Yeah,_ Mei thought. She bit her lip.

"You want to compare notes and stuff later?" Allison asked. A thick lock of hair curled around her ear, and she brushed it back with a free hand. "I heard the test in here was gonna be pretty killer with the essay portion. I just want to make sure I have my head on straight."

"I..."

"Yeah?"

"I have to go to the bathroom."

Allison frowned. "Do you need a tampon or..."

The tight thing in Mei's stomach uncoiled. It was too much.

"I have to go!"

She shot up from her chair and ignored Allison's look of confusion, throwing open the door with a loud enough bang that it almost completely deafened McKenzie's fourth repetition of _but, like, is she dead for real or is it just a metaphor?_ The thing in Mei's belly fluttered to the base of her throat, precariously close to the surface.

_Oh, God. Oh God, oh no, oh no, oh please, oh God-_

Somehow the bathroom was empty. No one was around to hear Mei stumble into the second to last stall and heave.

It came quickly, filling her throat, flooding her mouth, and then suddenly the whole stall in a barrage of color; yellows, greens, blues and reds that all took to the air in freedom. A near-weightless something landed gently on her head. She nearly choked as another wave hit her. Dust tickled her nose.

Just as suddenly as it came, it stopped all at once, and Mei was left hiccupping in to the toilet bowel, exhausted, as dozens upon dozens of Butterflies danced around her head. It was nearly like seeing stars. She squeezed her eyes shut.

Mei pressed her head against the cool toilet bowel and sighed.

"Damn it," she hissed.

"Damn is right." Someone said outside her stall. "You make all these yourself?"

By now most of the Butterflies would be gone. They didn't last long. Mei looked up.

Broad shoulders. Dozens of tight braids. A shirt so bright it nearly hurt to look at for too long. She relaxed.

"How bad was it?" Nia asked. She twisted the blue sucker between her fingers before popping it back in her mouth. "That looked pretty bad. I saw some from the hallway. That has to be bad, right?"

Mei groaned and let her head fall back against the stall wall, closing her eyes.

"Yeah," she sighed. "They keep getting worse."

Nia clicked her tongue.

"That's definitely bad, right? That they keep getting worse? Have we even heard of so many Butterflies from one person before? Maybe that's a sign."

"I probably have a condition."

"Yeah," Nia said. " _Lovesickness._ That's your condition."

One of the few remaining Butterflies landed on Nia's hand. Its jade wings fluttered a few times, leaving little powder clouds in its wake before she blew it away. Then only dust remained. It glittered green on her skin.

"Not like that," Mei said. "A different kind of condition. Like having an enlarged gland or something."

Nia scoffed.

"A gland doesn't do _that._ " She waved her arms through the Butterfly dust that still clung to the air. It would settle soon, Mei told herself. It would look like normal dust. "The largest count ever recorded was like, what, twenty at once? And you're over here quadrupling that no problem. You don't get that with a gland."

"We don't know _what_ causes it," Mei shock back from her spot the tile. "For all anyone knows, it could be a gland. Or something. Maybe mine is... bigger."

"You just _happen_ to have one of the rarest conditions in the world and you just _happen_ to make the largest Butterfly count ever seen for no particular reason?"

"It could happen," Mei protested. It was weak to her own ears. A beat passed. "Or maybe it's because I've liked her for so long, okay? Or some other weird reason. I don't know. You know I don't."

She coughed weakly in to her fist a few times, trying to stifle the tickle in her throat. Nia frowned.

"Does your throat hurt from all that?" She asked.

Mei shrugged. It didn't exactly hurt, but dozens of Butterflies crawling up her esophagus did leave a funny feeling behind. Nia sighed again.

"Alright, come on, don't sit with your face in the toilet. That's nasty."

She dug in to her pocket for one of the many lollipops she kept on her person in the past few years. She had started carrying them around when Mei's Butterfly problem had really started to really grow and Mei complained one too many times about how weird it made her throat feel. They made a good throat lozenge in a pinch. Mei always made a mental note to stock up on some of her own but somehow never found the time.

"Strawberry or apple?"

"Strawberry," Mei said. Nia stuck out her hand. Mei took both the offered candy and the help up.

"How'd you find me so fast?" Mei asked after she had spent a few moments relaxing against the bathroom wall instead of the tile near the toilet. The candy left an almost too-sweet trail on her tongue.

"I saw you sprint past my class like your ass was on fire," Nia said. "I told the teacher I was having a lady emergency. Mr. Jefferson told me to take as long as I needed. He looked real curious too. I don't think he understands periods."

Mei pushed the lollipop over to one side of her mouth with her tongue. "Maybe that's because you told him you were also having a 'lady emergency' last week to buy brownies before lunch."

Nia snorted. "Yeah, maybe. But he's the one who let me go, so who's the bigger fool here?"

They both grinned. It felt good to smile after spending almost a whole class period tense and ready to bolt at any moment. Mei thought back to her escape from the classroom and groaned.

"I can't believe I just ran like that," she moaned. "I didn't even tell Ms. Evans I was going anywhere. I just screamed _I have to go_ and ran. I must look like an idiot."

Nia choked. She spent almost a minute pounding on her own chest to clear her throat before turning to stare incredulously. Mei's face felt hot.

"Are you serious?" Nia said. "You just yelled that to the whole class and ran out?"

Mei nodded, hoping her blush didn't show. Nia's cackle echoed throughout the whole bathroom. Mei's poor attempts to shush her did nothing.

"Oh, God!" Nia choked out between laughs. "They probably think you have major diarrhea or something. That's great."

Mei wrinkled her nose. "Gross."

"Well, it's true!" Nia wiped a tear from her eye. She had mostly calmed down, though her shoulders still shook every few moments with unreleased laughter. "That's what happens when you yell that you gotta go and leave. They think you're having an emergency. Which, to be fair, you were."

Mei stiffened a little. It lasted only a moment before Nia's well placed pokes to her ribcage had her swatting foreign hands away.

"Cut it out."

Nia hummed around her candy and gave her one last hard finger-jab to the ribs. She gave Mei a once-over.

"Hey," she said, softer than her usual tone. "I've said it before, but I'm serious. If this shit is getting worse, you need to see somebody."

"See who? A doctor? Regular doctors can't do anything."

"A specialist then. One of those Ph.D. people you're always reading about."

"They've all published the same books saying the same thing. They don't know anything more than they did fifty years ago. And they didn't know anything then, either."

"If you let yourself be looked at, they might."

"And do what? Become some kind of science experiment? Get known across the nation as the worst case of Butterflies we've ever seen? Tell everyone I'm some kind of freak?" Mei took a deep breath. "I'd never go anywhere without being recognized. No. We're not telling anyone."

A girl who threw up Butterflies was a circus act. There was no way she was going to let herself be exposed to the world. Nia gave her a long look.

"Would you have told me?" Nia asked, even softer than before. "If I hadn't seen you?"

Mei looked away, lips pressed tight. She heard Nia take a long, deep breath.

"Okay," Nia sighed. "Okay, you're right. No doctors then. We know what's causing it, so we should probably be able to figure out how to stop it from there. You have to get more comfortable with her."

"I know. I'm trying."

"I worry about you."

"I know."

"I'm serious."

"Nia." Mei caught her eye. "I _know_."

Nia paused and, before Mei could steel herself, lunged. She wrapped one arm around Mei's thick torso and rubbed her free hand against Mei's head furiously.

"Why are you being so rude to me when I'm trying to help you? What happened to being nice?" Nia teased. She continued giving Mei the worst hair of her life.

"I don't have a brush!" Mei cried, squirming in her grip. "Cut it out!"

It was a miracle nobody else had walked in the bathroom yet with all the noise they had been making. Then again, it might have been the noise that kept everyone away.

It took almost a full minute to escape Nia's grasp and then a few more to struggle with getting her hair halfway decent.

"I look like a disaster," Mei moaned. She rain her fingers through her hair in a poor attempt to flatten it.

Nia unwrapped another lollipop from her pocket, having dropped her other one in the fight. It had dissolved to only the stick anyway, at least. Nia popped the new lime green sucker in her mouth.

"Now you really do look the part of chronic-diarrhea girl," she said around the stick, a smile playing at the corner's of her lips.

Mei snorted, but despite how her hair looked, her smile mimicked Nia's. She shook her head and let her locks fall where they may. It was as good as it was going to get.

"Come on," she said. "We've been gone long enough."

Nia tossed her now finished sucker in to the garbage can.

"About time. All this dust is starting to make my nose itch."

They waved goodbye to each other as Nia stepped back in to her own class with a confident grin on her face. She did not look at all like someone who had just had a "lady emergency," but there was no way Mr. Jefferson was going to call Nia out on it. All that left was Mei's own teacher. She took a deep breath and steeled herself.

When Mei slipped back in to class, McKenzie had either gotten answers to her never ending Ophelia questions or Ms. Evans had simply given up. One the whiteboard was a list of _Hamlet_ essay prompts and outlines everyone seemed to be writing down. As Mei shut the door behind her, Ms. Evans took her head from her hands and looked up.

"Miss Li." Ms. Evans frowned, checking her up and down as though she'd be able to spot illness as a physical mark somewhere on her body. "How do you feel? Did you call your parents?"

Several inquisitive eyes turned towards her, and Mei fought the urge to duck her head.

"No," she said. "I feel much better now, sorry."

For a moment she thought Ms. Evans was going to question her more, but apparently Mei hadn't been the only one not feeling well. Ms. Evans tucked her head back in her hands and shuddered. From the angle by the door she could almost see what her teacher was mouthing to herself.

"So stupid..." That's what it looked like she was mouthing, though Mei wasn't sure. "How is it so hard to understand..."

Maybe _Hamlet_ got to the teachers more than the kids, Mei thought, until she spotted McKenzie hunched over the exact same way in her own seat. Her copy of _Hamlet_ was thrown open on her desk, pages bent and post-it notes crumpled around her desk. One piece of paper on her desk was labeled _NOTES_ in big block letters, but underneath it was only a giant question mark surrounded by other smaller question marks.

Mei quickly took her seat.

"Hey." Allison gestured to her own head as Mei sat down. "You have something in your hair."

Mei mimicked the motion. When she pulled back, a thin layer of blue dust coated her palm. Butterfly residue. She hastily wiped her hand on her skirt and returned Allison's soft smile with a shakier one.

Allison leaned in close, but not nearly as close as she had earlier. Good.

"I told Ms. Evans you were sick," she said. "I mean, you _looked_ sick. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah," Mei said. It wasn't quite a lie. Throwing up Butterflies always seemed to make her nerves reset. "I do. Thanks."

Allison squeezed her shoulder only once and pulled back, thankfully. She turned toward the board and continued copying the essay outline with the pen she had borrowed earlier. Her pink cursive was the prettiest handwriting Mei had ever seen.

Rather than copy her own notes, Mei closed her eyes and took a page out of Ms. Evan's book. She didn't think they'd be continuing class anytime soon anyway.

_Would you have told me?_ Nia had asked. _If I hadn't seen you?_

Mei sighed.

           

 

 

It had been hot, that day. Too hot. Hot enough that despite her t-shirt and shorts, sweat still ran down the back of her neck and pooled uncomfortably between her thighs. Hot enough that she could feel a solid wave of what might have been magma radiating off the black asphalt, burning anyone unfortunate enough to touch it directly with their skin.

The summer sun did nothing but unrelentingly beat down on those below. Not a single cloud dotted the sky. Her only consolation was that every other middle-school student also waiting for their parents to pick them up was just as miserable as she.

It was hot enough that Mei didn't even bother to speak to Nia, who had thrown herself into the most pitiful spot of shade Mei had ever seen in her life and periodically moaned as more and more children left in their air-conditioned cars with their parents. Though Mei shared the sentiment, it had been too hot to complain verbally.

"Hey!" Someone yelled, much too excited to be anyone with any sense. Mei barely worked up the energy to turn her head, somehow able to catch the last glimpse of Allison bounding down the concrete steps of the school before she landed in front of them.

Allison stopped only a foot away from Mei, almost too close to stand in the heat. Though it couldn't have been true, Mei swore she could feel heat radiating from Allison's body in waves as well. Somehow, even with a lone bead of sweat rolling down Allison's forehead, she didn't look nearly as close to frying on the sidewalk like the rest of them.

Allison had been fifteen then, one of the oldest in their grade. She had been just as beautiful then as she was now.

"Hey, Mei," she said again. Mei had been stunned silent at the way Allison, someone so much cooler and older, said her name. The sound rang in her ears like a musical note. "Your presentation today was really good."

"It was?" Mei squeaked. She stammered on the second word and cursed herself.

Allison hadn't missed a beat though. "Yeah, totally! You were really put together. A lot of other people weren't that organized, or you could tell they were nervous, like me."

That had to be a lie. Mei had watched Allison's presentation, just like everyone else. She had looked so calm and collected in front of the class Mei was sure she had done it a thousand times. She didn't seem to sweat all over her note cards or take too long to answer questions either. Not like Mei had.

"Anyway," Allison continued when it became clear all Mei was going to do was stare. "You were really good. You should show me some of your research tricks sometime."

Farther out in the parking lot, a car honked. Allison looked out.

"That's me," she said. "I have to go. But you were really great up there!"

And with that, she was sprinting out toward the broiling car lot. It took all Mei had to call after her.

"Thank you." It was hard to say if her weak voice carried far enough to be heard. Mei doubted it.

Allison waved without looking back. The sight of it made Mei's heart jump, and just like that, she hiccupped. Once. Softly. Something crawled out between her slack-jawed lips.

It's wings flitted weakly in front of her face for half a second before it popped out of existence entirely, leaving behind only a small cloud of dust in its wake. It looked almost like glitter. Mei sniffed and the dust tickled her nose.

Nia caught her eye, and Mei stood there, frozen. The heat was forgotten. Nia's eyes were wide with wonder.

"She gives you Butterflies," Nia said, awe-struck. It was the only time she had ever sounded out of her depth. Mei's breath had caught in her throat. No one else seemed to be looking at them.

And that had been that.

 

 

 

Mei felt a soft touch on her shoulder, breaking her out of her reverie. Allison quickly withdrew her hand as Mei looked up.

"You don't look so well," she said, frowning. "Are you sure you're okay?"

_No,_ Mei thought. _Not at all._

On the other side of the room, McKenzie's forehead hit her desk with a loud _thunk._

 

 

 

Saturdays used to be the days Mei would lounge around the house. She would sneak a few bags of chips to her room away from her mother's watchful eye and scroll the web until her eyes got too sore in the darkness. Occasionally, she would thinking about writing a poem and then toss all the crumpled paper into the trash out of shame. Then she'd go to sleep sometime around one in the morning.

Saturdays used to be Mei's free days. They were her days to wind down. Any chores or homework were pushed back until Sunday. That was how she used to spend her weekend.

Now, Mei went to the mall.

It wasn't that exactly that she hated the mall, but she couldn't say she loved it. The mall was always crowded and cramped. The air conditioning never worked quite right, making it a sauna in the summer and an icebox in the winter. Inevitably, she would step in something sticky and be forced to listen to the weird suction-cup noise her shoes made all day. Her least favorite part of the day was having to wash her shoes when she got home.

Everyone except the youngest of children towered over her, which made navigating the stores on very busy days a hassle. Once, a security guard had mistaken her for an lost child and she had been forced to explain that no, she was actually in high school, really, thanks for the concern, while Nia filmed it all and laughed from a distance.

So no. Mei wasn't a huge fan of the mall. Which made the fact she had to give up her one relaxation day a week in order to go there very frustrating.

"You know you don't actually have to come here every week, right?" Nia asked around a mouth full of nachos. A few crumbs fell out of her mouth and onto the table, and Mei would have been more disgusted if not for the fact she often did the same. Nia swallowed. "Like. You know you have access to the internet, right?"

Mei finished the last of her milkshake and adjusted the hem of her jeans. They had been digging in to her waist a little more than usual lately. She probably to pick up a pair in the next size up while she was out.

She tugged at the rim of her jeans. Maybe two sizes up.

"I know I can just look at whatever online," she said, rolling her eyes. "But all I get is a bunch of speculation boards and garbage movies. I want to look at legit stuff."

"The same 'legit stuff' you said was a bunch of nothing the other day?"

Mei refused to admit fault. She refused. Nia flicked a nacho crumb at her.

"Whatever makes you feel better," Nia said, letting the subject drop. Mei liked that about her. She would always tease, but only up to a point.

They tossed their trash in a bin and were ambling towards the bookstore when Nia poked her in the side.

"Look," she whispered. Mei followed her line of sight and spotted the last person she wanted to see.

The profile of Larkin, an excitable girl a grade lower than Mei, was unmistakable even from the far side of the food court. Mei easily recognized her from the few times she had gone in to the chorus room for an errand. McKenzie sat on one side of her, and on the other sat Allison, a little more flustered looking than perhaps Mei had seen her before. Larkin had that effect on people, she thought.

Though McKenzie sat slack in her seat, head resting on her arms, Larkin and Allison were hunched over together as though they were discussing a conspiracy. Larkin's hands moved fast enough to blur as she spoke. Allison seemed to be trying to talk over her and failing.

"Let's go," Mei whispered back. She didn't want to even wave hello in passing. Mei wanted a normal, easy-going day for once. She and Nia kept on creeping by.

"Mei! Hey, Mei!"

Larkin's voice easily pierced though the garbled noise of the food court. They were caught.

Nia acknowledged their defeat first, grasping Mei's hand to get the her to slow down. Mei hunched her shoulders and turned her head just in time to see Allison mutter something to Larkin lowly, face tight. Larkin didn't seem to notice. Allison shot her an annoyed look.

Mei's stomach twisted. Allison and Larkin were having some kind of fight. And now she was expected to join them. Possibly to take sides.

Larkin continued to wave enthusiastically from across the food court. McKenzie didn't seem to notice.

"Mei! Nia! Come here!"

People were beginning to stare. Mei could feel a blush creeping down her neck. Nia nudged her side, making a face. They had no choice.

"Hey!" Larkin cried again, just as loudly when they reached the table as when they had been several yards away.

Nia and Mei stood awkwardly at the foot of their table, though Mei thought Nia owned it a lot better than she did.

Larkin was composed of eighty-percent energy and twenty-percent freckle. Her freckles themselves stood out starkly against her pale skin, but it was the way she carried herself that always caught Mei's attention.

Larkin grinned brightly at their approach. "We were just talking about you!"

McKenzie nodded in agreement, eyes half-lidded, as she continued to slump over in her seat. It was as if sitting next to Larkin had drained all the energy out of her. If possible, her hair was even more frizzy than usual.

Mei absently touched her own head. The heat had been kind to very little this time of year, especially hair.

Allison whispered something and ducked her head, jabbing Larkin in the arm with her elbow. Larkin rubbed her arm and leaned away without looking at her friend. Somehow, her smile grew wider.

"You were talking about us?" Nia prompted. Allison was avoiding eye contact, and Mei found herself doing the same. The floor was just as filthy as she expected it to be.

"Yes!" Larkin crowed. "Well. Mostly Mei. Not that you're not a person who can't be talked about. You have lots of things that people can talk about. About you. But not bad things! We wouldn't talk about you in a bad way! No one talks about you in a bad way. Except we were talking about Mei. In a good way."

Mei was slowly remembering what an adventure it was to talk to Larkin. McKenzie chuckled lowly and flicked Larkin's other arm. To her credit, Larkin didn't look embarrassed in the slightest.

Nia squeezed Mei's hand. She hadn't let go the entire time they had been at the table. Mei was glad for its comfort.

"You were talking about _me_?" Mei squeaked. Her voice almost cracked. Bad start.

"Yes!" Larkin repeated.

Allison went in for another smack on the arm, but this time Larkin ducked out of the way and ended up halfway in McKenzie's lap. McKenzie slid over to another chair and gestured for Mei and Nia to take a seat.

Mei shook her head. Larkin flopped into McKenzie's old seat, leaving Allison surrounded by empty chairs.

"No," Allison corrected. "We _weren't_."

She said the last part rather significantly, but Larkin either didn't notice or didn't care.

"Yes, we totally were," Larkin said. "Allison wants to invite you to—"

_"Larkin!"_

That was, apparently, the last straw. Allison's scream drew stares, the food court's noise softening for a brief moment before picking up again. For the first time, Larkin's grin faltered.

"We just— Uh—" Larkin tripped over her own tongue. "I thought it would be really cool if..."

She fumbled for the right words and failed. Her eyes darted from her friends and back. Even McKenzie seemed to straighten up a little in her seat, trying and failing for casual.

"I'm sorry," Allison said with a strained smile, catching Mei's eye. For once, the grace that kept her looking composed on even a scorching day was failing her. "Larkin and I _had a miscommunication_. I'm really sorry we bothered you."

Larkin opened her mouth to protest, but McKenzie's hand on her shoulder silenced her. She lowered her eyes.

"Sorry," Larkin said.

Nia's hand squeezing her own was the only thing Mei could feel.

"It's fine," she said. "It happens. Enjoy your lunch."

Mei walked away as fast as she could without running. She squeezed through the crowd, Nia in tow. When they were a safe distance away, Nia leaned in.

"You gonna blow?" She whispered.

Mei shook her head. No. No, she wasn't going to puke. Her stomach was the opposite of fluttery and light; it was full of lead. She didn't know what she had expected, but it hadn't been _that_. It certainly hadn't been Allison's nasty looks and pointed comments to her friends, all but screaming for Mei to go away. Mei had never seen her like that. She never wanted to again.

"Let's just go," she said. Nia nodded, silent. They walked in to the bookstore.

Once Nia was sure Mei wasn't in any danger, she ducked out of the store to run an errand, promising over and over that she'd be back in five minutes. Mei was rolling her eyes by the time Nia finally left. She wasn't a child.

She was fine. Her stomach was heavy and her throat had been kind of tight initially, but it had loosened up now. It was fine. She was fine.

Mei found her way to the "Bestseller" section. Books on Butterflies were always a big hit and new books were always sure to be near the front. She ran her finger down the spine of one of the thicker books on the shelf.

_Butterflies: The Extraordinary Phenomenon and Why They Manifest_ by Dr. K. J. Hudson, Ph.D _._ , the spine read. It had been one of the first books she had ever picked up on the subject, back when she was only just beginning to show symptoms. Mei had read it three times. Like every other book, it had amounted to a lot of nothing.

She scanned the shelves for several minutes, hoping something would jump out to her. Nothing did. Just like the week before, the shelf looked the same. There were only so many ways people could write the same thing, no matter how unusual the subject.

She was idly running her finger down the spine of Dr. Hudson's book, eyeing a few other titles at random and contemplating wandering in to a different isle altogether when she felt someone come up behind her.

Mei turned, half expecting to see Nia back already, and instead found someone with much shorter hair and even darker skin. Allison lightly scuffed her shoe on the carpet.

"Hey," she said softly. Her eyes followed the path of Mei's outstretched hand and she mouthed the title of the most popular book on the shelf, punctuating it with a low whistle. "Butterflies, huh? Those are neat. That lady looks like she knows her stuff."

She gestured to the stiff photograph of Dr. Hudson on the cover. Mei pressed her lips tight and nodded.

It was awkward. Allison was trying to play it cool, but Mei could _feel_ the awkward with every fiber of her being. Her heart jumped anxiously.

"Not really," Mei said, letting her arm drop. Allison coughed lightly in to her fist.

"Listen. About earlier-"

"No, no," Mei interrupted. "It's cool—"

"That was really shitty of me—"

"Don't worry about it—"

"And I wanted to say I'm sorry—"

"It's not my business what you were saying and—"

"I was way out of line, and you're so nice—

"It's okay if you just don't like me, that's fine—

"Come to my birthday party!" Allison all but shrieked.

They both froze for a moment. Her voice echoed in Mei's ears. Allison ducked her head, then looked back up, determined.

"What?" Mei croaked.

"Come to my birthday party," Allison repeated, this time at a much more reasonable volume. She glanced away and back, tugging at a lock of her hair. "That was what we were talking about earlier. I wanted to invite you, but we haven't spoken that much and I thought maybe you would think it was weird, and it's a bit short notice and you weren't feeling well the other day, but. You should come." Then she corrected herself. " _I_ want you to come. Please."

"I." Mei swallowed. "When. Is it?"

Allison bit her lip and winced. "Sunday?"

They both paused again.

"Sunday?" Mei repeated. "As in, tomorrow Sunday?"

"Yeah," Allison said. "I know, it's really short notice. I'm sorry. But I really, really hope you can make it."

Her smile was much warmer than it had been earlier. Mei could just barely make out the whites of her teeth past her lips. Her stomach tightened.

"If you're just inviting me out of guilt, then—"

"I'm not!" Allison swore, her face serious. "I'm not. I honestly want you there. Please."

It was hard to disagree with something like that. She had already said "please" twice. A third time and Mei was afraid she'd fall to her knees.

"Okay," Mei said. As Allison's eyebrows rose, Mei's stomach dropped. "Okay."

"Really? You'll come?"

"Yeah," she said. "I'll come."

Allison's whole face radiated sunshine. Her smile was almost too bright to look at.

"Cool!" She exclaimed. She grabbed Mei's hands and cupped them with her own, pulling Mei close in her excitement. Mei nearly tripped over her own feet in the process. This close, Allison's arms seemed infinitely long and slender compared to Mei's short and round everything.

"You won't regret it, I promise! You don't even have to bring anything. Just yourself. No presents. Oh. Um."

She seemed to notice how tightly she had been holding Mei's hands and dropped them, backing away as she spoke. Her smile didn't fade.

"It's a sleepover!" She said. "Since there's no school on Monday. So bring a sleeping bag. Or you can sleep on the couch, or with me, if you want! I'll text you directions to my house. I don't have your number. McKenzie has your number. McKenzie will text you directions!"

She nearly bumped in to a small table hosting a pile of books, but avoided it at the last second. It was clear Mei's acceptance had her flustered. Mei wished she would turn around.

"It starts at seven! Remember: no gifts!"

With one last thumbs up, she was gone. Mei's legs gave out.

Her hands flew to her mouth as she dropped to the floor, nearly gagging. Having Allison so close so suddenly, holding hands, spending the night, the thought of sharing a bed with her—

_You can sleep on the couch or with me._ The words rang in her head. It was enough that she nearly retched in to her hands.

No one had walked by yet, and the store had been nearly empty when she came in. Mei was thankfully tucked between two shelves, but that was no place to hide. She had to leave. Immediately. There was no way she was getting out of the mall by herself, however. Her legs wouldn't take it.

Someone's hand landed roughly on her shoulder, and Mei started to panic before she realized who it was.

"Are you gonna blow?" Nia asked in a rushed whisper, recognizing the obvious signs of Mei's discomfort. "Okay. You're okay. I'll get you out of here. Let's go."

Nia placed both hands under Mei's arms and yanked, hard. Mei stumbled to her feet for a split second before it became impossible to hold on. She hurled. Nia swore.

Mei knew it was going to be a catastrophe before the first Butterfly even left her mouth. She could just feel it. Wave upon wave rushed past her lips as she and Nia sat on the floor, both of them praying and hoping it passed quickly. Mei shook. Every new wave of Butterfly seemed to take another piece of her with it.

"Please, please, please," Nia muttered against her hair.

_Please, what?_ Mei wanted to ask but all she could do was gag instead. A hurricane of Butterflies churned in her stomach.

She didn't know how long they sat there like that, hidden between the bookshelves as she threw up what seemed to be more Butterflies than could ever conceivably fit in a person. One moment Nia was clutching her tightly against her chest, and the next Mei could breathe again.

"Go, go, go," Nia ordered, hauling them both to their feet and pushing Mei ahead of herself. "Don't stop! Go!"

Mei opened one eye gently and got a face full of wings for her trouble. Something like dirt landed in the crease of her eyes. She quickly shut them again and rushed through the swarm blindly towards where she thought the front door might be, checking herself on shelf and table alike. Her hips stung. There were sure to be bruises later. Somewhere else in the store, somebody screamed. Maybe several somebody's.

Nia shoved her into something smooth. One of Mei's hands came down on something small and gritty before it turned to sand beneath her fingertips. A Butterfly.

"The door!" Nia hissed in her ear. They both pushed forward, and suddenly Mei was hit not with another wave of nausea but with a blast of warm air. Carpet gave way to concrete.

She didn't dare yet open her eyes, instead still rushing forward blindly. It wasn't until Mei crashed in to something much larger and hotter than a person that she dared open them.

She had run into the broadside of a truck. They were in the parking lot.

They had made it outside.

Mei was almost too scared to turn, to see the chaos they had left behind, but Nia's awed cry was too much to ignore.

Butterfly upon Butterfly poured from the exit and in to the air, creating thick rainbow fog above the store. Every conceivable color flashed through the cloud of faux insects, and the cloud only grew as more Butterflies shot out the door and joined the mix. There had to be hundreds, Mei thought. Hundreds of Butterflies, all circling the skies and raining multicolored dust down below. Because of her.

"All of that came from _you_?" Nia cried, craning her neck upwards, her voice laced with disbelief. "From _you_? But you're so small! That was like a tornado! A tsunami! I couldn't even see when we were inside, that's how many of them there were!"

The stream of Butterflies pouring from the door grew thinner, though the cloud above them didn't seem to be growing any smaller. Mei grabbed Nia by the elbow.

"We have to go," she said. Her throat tickled.

Nia nodded, trance broken. "Yeah."

They sprinted across the far end of the parking lot, the farthest point away from the mall and any security cameras they could see. Their sprinting eventually slowed to a jog, which slowed to a walk. There was no point in running once they reached the edge of the lot. Other cars trickled in and out of the parking lot, but if there was any commotion inside the mall, the girls couldn't spot it from outside.

It took almost ten minutes before they found Nia's old beaten up car, by which point they were both soaked in sweat. Mei hated summer.

Nia threw a water bottle at Mei as they settled in the car, which already felt like an oven after barely an hour in the sun. Though the water was old and tasted a little like plastic, Mei drank it gratefully, if only to soothe the itch in her throat.

Nia turned the car on and rolled down the windows, searching for her own bottle to drink. A fine layer of dust coated her skin and rubbed off on the air conditioning dial when she touched it. Mei was sure she was covered in the same.

Mei passed the water back, half empty. Their hands brushed. Nia looked at her seriously, face blank.

Then, at the same time, they both broke into uproarious laughter. Nia dropped the bottle, spilling water across her lap and the car's interior. Mei snorted hard enough to make herself cough.

"What the hell was that?" Nia wheezed.

"Shut up!" Mei shot back, having a hard time spitting out her words in between laughs. "You're the one dropping everything!"

She choked on air, which sent her in to another coughing fit tinged with laughter. She couldn't breathe. By the sound of it, neither could Nia.

Mei couldn't say what started their laughter. The onset of hysteria, she supposed. It certainly lifted some of the weight that had settled off her back. She couldn't stop for almost another full minute. Nia kept going for a few moments longer.

"Okay," Nia said once they had both calmed enough to speak. The corners of her mouth twitched upwards, and she at least made the unsuccessful attempt to school them back into a serious face. "But for real. What was that?"

Mei let the full blast of air conditioning hit her in the face as she took a breath. The air was warm.

"Allison found me in the bookstore," she said. Nia's face shifted in understanding. "She wants me to come to her birthday party tomorrow and spend the night."

Nia raised an eyebrow. "And just the invitation set you off?"

"There was other stuff too!" Mei protested, affronted. "She held my hand and pulled me all close and stuff! She didn't just ask me to go and I threw up all over her!"

"No, you just threw up all over yourself instead."

"Shut up," Mei grumbled. "I was able to wait until she was gone and everything. I consider that to be a pretty good achievement."

Nia let loose a whistle, not unlike the one Allison had given earlier. Mei's stomach churned a little at the memory.

"Damn," Nia swore. "Handholding and a birthday party. This is some heavy stuff."

Mei swatted her shoulder. Nia grinned back.

"Okay, okay. Sorry! This is serious, I know."

"Yes!" Mei said. "This is really serious. I just had a Butterfly attack in public! In a mall! With people!"

That sobered Nia up quickly.

"Alright," she said. "Let's think about this logically. Yes, you had an attack in public. But how good are the security cameras? I don't think the bookstore even has any. And did you see that cloud you conjured in there? _I_ could barely see you and you were right in front of me, so I really doubt anyone else in the store could either. So I think we're in the clear."

It was a flimsy argument at best. Mei only stared.

"Okay," Nia said, shifting the car to drive in response to her silence. "Okay. Let's just go home."

Mei said nothing.

"Oh," Nia added, shifting the car into _drive_. "And there's some suckers in the glove box if you want them."

 

           

 

"—First time in recorded history." The newswoman's voice sounded tinny from the small TV. "For those of you just joining us, we'll recap: an incident involving Butterflies, a well-known but rare medical condition caused by romantic attraction, has been caught on camera in a small town in Georgia. This is one of the few incidents ever caught on film and, judging by the sheer number, the largest possible reaction ever recorded."

On screen, the newswoman's face was replaced with grainy footage from a security camera outside the mall. Mei recognized the angle well. It was a bird's eye view of the parking lot entrance to the bookstore. Her heart seized, and her fingers gripped the remote control too tightly. She knew what came next. She had been expecting it all evening.

"As you can see here, the door is about to open and with it—"

Everything outside her TV screen faded from her vision. Even the newswoman's voice went mute in favor of the footage.

The doorway opened in slow motion. Inch by agonizing inch, Mei could only stare. The door opened all the way and there, in black and white, on national television for all to see was—

The largest swarm of Butterflies Mei had ever seen in her life, surging out the door with such force and such mass that the camera's footage was completely obscured for almost a full minute. She watched as Butterfly upon Butterfly streamed passed the camera, waiting for the crucial moment when the swarm would thin and her condition was shown to the world. Beat after agonizing beat passed. Some kind of dirt began gathering on the edges of the screen.

When the footage cleared up and the last of the Butterflies dissipated in to nothingness, the bookstore door was fully shut and the sidewalk empty, save for a small cloud of dust that hung in the air.

Mei swore. Loudly.

Her cell phone vibrated almost violently in her lap. Mei answered it without looking.

"Hello?"

"Is this for real? Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Nia sounded as breathless as Mei felt. "Mei. Mei, are you watching the news right now?"

"Yeah," she exhaled. "Yeah. They got nothing. They got nothing on tape."

"Oh my God," Nia said again. "I can't believe this. Do you know how lucky we are? I can't believe it. Holy—"

The TV changed again. Onscreen was someone Mei knew very well.

"Would you state your name for us?" Someone asked off-screen. They pressed a microphone into the girl's face.

"Allison Fisher."

Mei's ears rang. She dropped the phone.

"Could you tell us what you saw today, Allison?"

Allison nodded. The sun was almost too bright behind her. The interview had obviously been recorded much earlier in the day.

"I was leaving the bookstore after talking with a friend," Allison said. "One second I'm walking down the mall, looking at the shops, and the next I'm surrounded by this amazing hurricane every color of the rainbow. They were everywhere, swirling all around me! I couldn't believe my eyes."

The reporter pulled the microphone back to speak. "Were you scared at all?"

"What?" Allison asked, eyes wide, like she hadn't expected such an obvious question. She caught herself and smiled. "No. Not even for a moment. It was too beautiful to be scared. Even when the Butterflies disappeared and the only thing left was rainbow dust raining from the sky..."

Allison shut her eyes, as though reliving the memory. The light reflected on red dust caught in her hair. She opened her eyes again, looking right into the camera.

"It was breathtaking!"

Mei fumbled for the phone again, which had fallen down by her feet. In her ear, Nia swore.

Every news channel, big or small, replayed the grainy parking lot footage over and over that night. Allison's interview played as well, again and again and again until Mei could recite it word for word. The whole nation was in an uproar; who released such a flurry of Butterflies, they wondered. Would they come forward?

Not if she could help it, she wouldn't. Mei could only be grateful the bookstore she went to had no cameras on the inside, only the outside.

Thank heavens for small businesses, she thought.

"It's fine," Nia assured her through the phone. Mei tucked a pillow tightly against her chest. "It's totally fine. Nobody knows you or I were there, and even if they did, there's no way to connect you to the bookstore. Only Allison and I knew you were there, and since I'm not saying anything and Allison didn't mention it in her interview, I doubt she thinks it's you."

"Yeah," Mei said. "Yeah." It was all she could say.

"You and I are literally one of probably hundreds of people that were at the mall today. There's no way to connect either of us there. And even if somebody saw us or caught us on camera driving away, _which nobody did_ , then we'd still be two of however many other people fleeing in a panic. The Butterflies are gone. You can't test dust for DNA. We're in the clear."

"Yeah," Mei said again. She hugged the pillow tighter.

It went on like that for almost an hour until Nia's mother yelled at her for being on the phone so much instead of eating dinner. Nia apologized again and again even as she was hanging up, to which Mei told her to enjoy her dinner. Mei's own parents wouldn't be back until later and her appetite had died somewhere between throwing up at the store and watching the news, so instead Mei put her music on shuffle and tried very hard not to think about anything at all.

 

 

 

 True to her word, McKenzie's text came sometime during the night while Mei slept. Sunday passed in a haze of anxiety, and before she knew it, Mei found herself standing outside Allison's front door.

Her mother waved at her from the car. Mei waved weakly back.

_It's fine_ , she thought, repeating Nia's own words back to herself. _It's fine. Nobody knows it's you. Nothing can be traced back to you. She doesn't know. Nobody knows._

She steeled herself. Took a breath. Knocked.

The door flew open instantly. It was so fast Mei nearly dropped the sleeping bag tucked under her arm.

"Hey!" Allison greeted. She waved to Mei's mother, and Mei didn't have to turn to know her mom was driving away. She looked back to Mei. "I'm glad you could make it. Everyone else is here already."

It was barely seven and somehow Mei was already late. That wasn't a terrible thing. Everybody being there meant there was no time to be stuck alone with Allison. Good.

Mei took her shoes off next to the others by the door as Allison gestured toward the hallway.

"Everybody else is in the kitchen," Allison said. "Let's drop your stuff off in my bedroom first."

Her bedroom. Mei swallowed. "Sure."

Allison's room was just as clean as Mei had expected, though she could not have predicted the full length mirror opposite the doorway. She had almost thought there was another person in the room until she realized she was looking at her own nervous reflection.

A few photos picturing Allison's mother and other people Mei didn't recognize lined the walls. One of Allison and Larkin sat on her bedside table. Her dresser was clean except for a few bottles of nail polish scattered on it. Her bed was much larger than Mei's own and by far the biggest thing in the room. If Allison had ever dropped any dirty clothes on the floor or ever made a mess, she had certainly done a good job of hiding it.

It was, overall, an average bedroom. Somehow knowing that fact made Mei relax a little. She didn't know what she had expected.

Mei dropped her backpack and sleeping bag by the door and was nearly down the hallway again when Allison called after her.

"Wait," she said. Mei froze in her tracks. "Can I ask you something?"

_There's no way she knows it was you,_ Mei reminded herself. She steeled herself and nodded.

"You and Nia..." Allison trailed off, leaning against the doorway to her bedroom. "Are you guys dating?"

Out of everything she could have asked, that was the last thing on Mei's list. It was so sudden Mei nearly choked on her own laugh. She punched herself in the chest a few times to get the air flowing again and by the time she recovered, Allison was tugging on the lock of hair behind her ear and looking away.

"Sorry," Allison said quickly. "That was really random. And personal. You don't have to answer that. It's not my business."

"No, no," Mei assured her. "It's fine. No, we're not dating."

"You guys were just holding hands the other day, and I just didn't know if you or Nia were interested in... that."

"I don't think Nia's interested in anybody like that," Mei said honestly. Allison sent her a soft smile.

"Cool," she said. "That's cool. I was just wondering. Let's go eat cake."

The cake turned out to be a chocolate with vanilla icing, apparently by suggestion of Allison's mother. Larkin, who had been first to arrive, ate with particular relish, digging in to her third piece when Mei was still only on her second.

"My mom doesn't let me eat a lot of sweets at home," Larkin explained, scraping off as much icing off the cake as she could and spooning it all into her mouth at once. McKenzie, who hadn't touched her piece since the her first bite of cake, seemed a tortoise in comparison.

"Your parents do know a sugar rush isn't a real thing, right?" Mei asked. Watching Larkin shovel the last of her cake in, she could see why Larkin's mother might have sensed the danger. McKenzie didn't protest when Larkin stole a swab of icing from her own cake.

"I don't think it's a sugar rush thing," Larkin said around a mouth full of cake. A bit of icing had gathered in the corner of her mouth. "I think it's just a 'her' thing. She's kind of a health nut."

Mei nodded. She watched Allison rise from her seat next to another girl at the counter and place her plate in the sink. Larkin all but tossed her own plate at her, which Allison miraculously caught, and slid McKenzie's plate in front of herself. She dug in with a fervor Mei had never seen outside of a feral animal.

_Where does she put it all?_ Mei wondered, glancing at her own stomach. Larkin was a twig in comparison.

For a moment, the kitchen quieted long enough that Mei could hear the conversation Allison was having with another girl by the counter.

"What was it like?" The girl asked. "Being there for it in person?"

"There's not much else to say besides what I said on the news," Allison said. With a lurch, Mei realized what they were talking about. "It was beautiful and breathtaking. I kind of wish I could meet whoever caused it."

Larkin slurped the last of her soda loudly, enough to drown out the rest of their conversation. Mei was both annoyed and grateful. There was no way she could have dragged herself away on her own. Larkin slammed the cup down on the table and took another bite of McKenzie's cake. McKenzie chuckled.

"Oh! Oh!" Larkin began waving her fork in the air, flinging some icing on McKenzie's cheek. McKenzie lazily raised a hand to her face, wiped it away and licked the extra icing off her finger. Larkin only glanced in her direction.

"Larkin, you're making a mess! Put the fork down!" Allison cried. Her mother sadly shook her head behind her, like this was a scenario she had seen too many times before. Maybe she had. Larkin dropped her fork on the table but did not stop waving her hands.

"We should watch a movie!" She announced.

McKenzie blinked slowly. She opened her mouth to speak but an extra beat passed before she actually said anything.

"Shouldn't Allison get to pick what we do since it's her birthday?" She said, almost as though it was a wandering thought that had drifted past her and not a question she was asking aloud. Larkin responded immediately by dropping her hands and scratching the back of her neck.

"Oh, yeah, I guess you're right," she said sheepishly.

Allison shook her head. Her smile was fond. "Nah, it's fine. I had one or two lined up anyway."

The girls drifted in to the living room, leaving Allison's mother to deal with the cake, which Mei thanked her several times for. Allison's mother only smiled more and more each time Mei said it, outright laughing by the fourth time and telling her she was way too polite. Mei blushed and ducked out of the kitchen, the last to make it to the living room besides McKenzie, who walked like a wind-up toy that needed another twist.

Allison patted an empty space next to herself on the couch as Mei walked in, only to jerk back as Larkin flung herself in to the seat. Though Allison looked a little disgruntled by the sudden tangled flurry of limbs almost on top of her, Mei felt relieved. She sank to a spot on the floor, leaning her back against the arm of the couch.

She giggled quietly as Larkin tried to right herself and ended up smacking herself in the face. The other girl, whose name might have been Shelby, mirrored Mei's actions and sat on the floor.

After a few more minutes of struggling, the movie in question turned out to be a horror flick instead of a comedy like Mei had expected. It was one she had seen in theaters before with Nia, so there wasn't anything to really surprise her about it. Not that she probably would have jumped anyway. Mei loved horror movies, though she didn't find them particularly frightening.

Larkin, it seemed, was the opposite. She clung to McKenzie's side and gasped every time anything remotely spooky happened, even when there was no ghost or monster. She also hissed a constant commentary of  "No, don't _do_ that, be _careful_!" at the TV. It was hard not to watch her more than the movie. More than once, Mei forcibly dragged her eyes back to the screen and away from the show next to her.

Halfway through the movie, right as the ghost's face appeared in a mirror and scared the jock into peeing his pants, Allison's mother stuck her head in the living room and announced she was heading to bed. It was only a little after nine. The girls all said their version of "Goodnight." At the same time, Mei's phone rang with a buzz.

  _Nia_

_9:17 P.M._

_All clear?_

 Mei glanced away from the brightness of the phone's screen and caught Allison's eye. Allison's smile was even dazzling in the dark, surrounded by the screaming of dying teens and ghostly wails. Her stomach only tightened a little before she glanced back.

_Yeah,_ she wrote. _All clear._

After another fifteen minutes, the girl, maybe-Shelby, announced her mom was there to pick her up. She left with a chorus of goodbyes from the group trailing behind her. Mei nudged McKenzie's foot with her elbow.

McKenzie's head had bobbed up and down throughout the movie, but she kindly leaned down to Mei's level and gave Mei her best "I wasn't dozing" look. It couldn't have been an easy move, considering how tightly she was pressed between Larkin and the arm of the couch. Her long hair slipped over her shoulder and tickled Mei's face.

"I thought this was a sleepover?" Mei whispered. McKenzie nodded.

"It is," she said. "Shelby couldn't stay. Neither can I. But it's still a sleepover."

Okay. That left Mei, Allison and Larkin spending the night. That was fine. Larkin was a great buffer. It would be fine.

When the movie was finally over, the clock was nearing ten and McKenzie stood up. She flipped on the living room light and listened to the girls groan as their eyes adjusted.

"It's getting late," she said, voice like molasses. Mei wondered if it was natural or from a lack of sleep. "Time to head out."

Larkin hopped off the couch like it was her cue, nearly kicking Mei's head. She pulled Allison up with her, gave her a tight hug and skipped over to join McKenzie by the door.

"Happy birthday, Alli!" She said as she pulled on her shoes. "Thanks for inviting us over and feeding us!"

She was no doubt going to wake Allison's mother with how loud she was speaking. Allison only smiled.

"Wait," Mei said, confused. "I thought only McKenzie had to leave."

"Yeah," Larkin said. "And McKenzie's my ride, so I gotta go too. There's no way my mom would allow me to spend the night somewhere else or drive after dark. But that's life I guess!"

Just how strict was Larkin's mother, Mei wondered. She knitted her eyebrows together in a question, but McKenzie's nod backed up Larkin's statement. Which meant only two people would be left in the house: Mei and Allison.

Allison's words came back to haunt Mei's ears.

_You can sleep on the couch or with me._

Oh, no. She had doomed herself from the start. Mei wondered if it was too late to fake an emergency at home and get Nia to pick her up.

Mei was still contemplating her options when the front door closed for the final time and Allison peered out the back door window.

"I think it's dark enough," she announced. Mei could only stare.

"Dark enough for what?" She asked as Allison unlocked the backdoor.

"For stargazing," Allison said. She gestured toward the shoe pile by the front door, which had grown significantly smaller now that they were the only ones left.

Obediently, Mei slipped on her sneakers and tossed the only other pair behind her. Allison caught them effortlessly.

"Why didn't we go stargazing earlier?" Mei asked as Allison pulled on her shoes.

"Because it wasn't dark enough," Allison repeated simply.

"I don't think there will be that many stars out though. We're a bit too far in the city for that."

"Probably not," she said. "But there will be a few, and I want to stargaze. It's my birthday, after all."

 She couldn't argue with that logic. Mei bit her lip and followed Allison in to the night.

True enough, there were a few clusters of stars that somehow persisted despite the city's distant lights. Allison was lucky enough that she lived far enough away from the more urban parts of the city that she could see such things. Even the lights from the street didn't seem to penetrate the darkness of the backyard.

Allison sat on the grass without a word, the cicadas and her shoes muffling any noise she otherwise would have made. She settled back on her hands, tipping her head up to view the sky.

Mei mirrored her position, close enough to seem casual but far enough to leave some space between them. The night air was cool, but Mei was going to get very hot, very fast if they remained together under the stars like this. She didn't know how to escape from this one.

"So," Allison asked, breaking the silence. "Do you read a lot of books about Butterflies?"

Mei's heart jumped. Her throat felt tight.

"Sometimes," she admitted slowly, looking away and hoping for a distraction. There was only the hum of the cicadas to answer her.

Allison hummed and shifted a little closer. Their fingers brushed and without looking, Mei pulled her hands back on to her lap. Allison didn't seem to notice.

"I only ask since you were looking at that one book yesterday and it looked like it had won a lot of awards and stuff," she said. "I don't really know anything about them. But I think they're neat."

Mei barely worked up the courage to glance at Allison, who she was surprised to find staring right back at her instead of at the stars. Mei sucked in a breath.

"You should tell me about it," Allison said.

She hesitated. Allison sounded earnest, but she wasn't sure how much her heart could take. It felt like she had a fever, despite the cool night air.

"Okay," she started, hoping to distract herself and ignore the way Allison was looking at her. She found herself falling back onto the paragraphs of information she had memorized long ago.

"Butterflies seem to be caused by, uh, romantic feelings. They're not really sure what exact chemical reaction causes Butterflies to form inside a person, but we're pretty sure they're not connected to real butterflies at all. That's just the form they take for some reason."

"I see," Allison said sagely She nodded like this was teacher's lecture and not information Mei was suddenly struggling to recall, despite the face she had read it a million times before. Mei continued.

"It seems that something about the symptoms of romantic attraction—sweaty hands, increased heart rate, eye dilation—trigger something else inside a person as well, creating that fluttery feeling in the belly. And sometimes that fluttery feeling turns out to be a bit more, um, literal for some."

She paused, mouth dry. Allison nodded.

"Go on," she prompted encouragingly. While Mei had been talking, she had done nothing but gaze at Mei's face and nod her head, the perfect model of a good listener. There wasn't nearly enough space in between them. Mei swallowed.

"Okay.” The information suddenly came back to her. Mei took a deep breath. "Butterflies are more common in school children. Like, elementary aged kids. But it's not unheard of to exist in older kids and teens. It's pretty rare in adults and there've only been maybe... three? Maybe three documented cases in them. That's not saying anything about undocumented cases, of course. And lots of people don't come forward about it because they don't want to be treated differently, and..."

Allison was awfully, awfully close. Mei licked her lips.

"And parents don't want their kids treated differently either so when it happens they probably... just keep them at home..."

Allison was close enough that Mei could make out the way her eyelashes rested upon her cheek in the darkness. It was too much.

_Abort!_ Mei thought wildly, surging to her feet to run inside, or maybe even hop the fence. Anything to get away. Allison must have been expecting it though, because she grabbed Mei's hand at the same time and yanked, tugging Mei back down on the grass.

Mei rolled and Allison, who had been finding her footing the same time, went with her.

They landed sideways on the grass, no doubt smearing dirt and other unknowable things into their clothes. Mei regained her balance first, scrambling to sit upright in the dark, but once again Allison beat her to the punch. Before Mei could move, she sprang forward, smashing their foreheads together. She apparently hadn't meant to do that, however, because she reeled back from the shock of it just as suddenly as Mei.

"Ow!" Allison cried, pressing her hands against her forehead like that would dull the pain. Mei's own forehead throbbed. "Sorry! Sorry!"

Mei blinked, stars dancing in her vision, and Allison moved again. Suddenly there were two very soft lips slotted against her own.

Mei sat there, frozen for a heartbeat as Allison pulled back. She glanced at Mei's face and placed another chaste peck against her mouth before pulling back completely. Mei could now barely make out the outline of Allison's dark skin against the blackness of the night. Allison's hand cupped her cheek. It was soft.

It was too much, too much, _too much_. Mei's stomach lurched. Allison pulled her hand away as though it burned, just in time for a soft burp to escape Mei's mouth, along with one of the tiniest Butterflies Mei had ever coughed up. Somehow it seemed to almost glow in the darkness.

She felt it crawl across her lower lip, almost light enough to not even tickle her skin, and Mei wanted to die.

The one lone Butterfly took to the air, and Mei's stomach jumped. Suddenly, they were all pouring out of her all at once. The rest of the Butterflies did not come up nearly as gently.

Mei squeezed her eyes shut. She felt someone help her crawl to her hands and knees, and it was all Mei could do not to sob as the Butterflies came and came and came.

This was it. She had been found out by the worst person possible. She was a circus act. It was over.

The flow of Butterflies tapered out much faster than they had at the store. That was the best Mei could make of the situation. If she had to be a freak, at least she wasn't as much of a freak as she could have been. There was a good chance the neighbor's wouldn't see, at least, though when Allison reported her to a news station the whole nation would know.

When Mei stopped, she didn't want to open her eyes. She didn't want to see the disgust etch in to Allison's otherwise beautiful features. But she was also tired hiding.

Mei sat back on her legs and peaked out of one eye. Allison wasn't looking at her. She opened both eyes fully.

The Butterflies swirled around both of their heads, nearly invisible in the darkness despite the iridescent color each sported. The moonlight was barely enough to illuminate a sparkle here, a streak of color there. They appeared as black blobs in the night sky. Nearly all of them circled Allison's head, dancing across her shoulders and cheeks, landing in her hair.

Ever so gently, Allison reached out to touch one mid-flight. As her fingers grazed its wing, the Butterfly turned in to a cloud of dust. The dust gently settled onto her fingertips, staining them pink in the moonlight.

Allison looked at Mei. The Butterflies surrounding her jostled for a moment before settling back down. Two more turned to glitter in her hair. She didn't seem to notice.

"I give you Butterflies," she said, awed. "I give you _Butterflies_."

Mei was fixed in place, stuck on the ground by the weight of Allison's gaze alone. The whites of her eyes contrasted so sharply with night. It felt like they were freezing Mei in place.

Allison scooted closer. Mei had no idea when she had gotten so far away in the first place. Maybe while Mei had been distracted, throwing up. She couldn't blame her for backing away. But now they were close again, close enough to touch, though Allison didn't reach out to test it. Instead, she smiled.

The last of the Butterflies popped out of existence. The ones that had been circling overhead were all gone, though if they had turned to dust or flown away, Mei wasn't sure.

"You get Butterflies because I make you all flustered, right?" Allison asked.

Mei nodded, weak and unsure. Her mouth felt glued shut.

Allison threw her arms around Mei's shoulders and pulled her close, so they were cheek to cheek. This close, Mei could almost make out the individual grains of Butterfly dust that coated Allison's skin, despite the darkness.

"I guess that means you and I should get a lot more comfortable with each other," Allison said, looking at Mei through her lashes.

The words were impossible. There was no way they was real. It had to be a dream.

But when Allison leaned in, close enough that their breath mingled and whispered, "Is this okay," it felt much too real to be a dream.

Their third kiss was just as chaste as the second, though not nearly as short. Mei had no experience with kissing, but it felt right to press so close together, to move their lips gently but solidly against each other. Goosebumps ran down her arms. It lasted entirely too long and not long enough. Allison didn't appear at all bothered by the fact Mei had just coughed up a bunch of dust and hopes in the form of insects.

Allison pulled back first. Her whole body jumped under Mei's fingers, suddenly, almost violently. She blinked.

"Did you just hiccup?" Mei rasped. It was the first thing she had managed to say since throwing up. The whole moment felt surreal.

Allison's jaw dropped open. She blinked again, twice, her face twisting in confusion. She looked at Mei without speaking.

For a moment, panic seized Mei's heart, and she was desperately afraid Allison had realized what a mistake she was making, how gross it was to kiss someone who threw up bugs, real or not. Then Mei saw it.

A Butterfly crawled from Allison's mouth. It was the smallest one Mei had ever seen in her life, even smaller than the first one Mei had created. It weakly took flight between them only to decay instantly, a mere puff of purple dust in the air.

 Mei's jaw dropped. Allison licked her lips.

"Well," Allison said. "I guess we both need to be a bit more comfortable with each other."

A beat passed. Hesitantly, Mei reached out and tangled their fingers together. She felt solid. Real.

"Yeah," she said. "I'd like that."

Allison helped Mei to her feet. They kept their hands clasped together, even as they walking back in to the house.

"I don't want to wake up my mom," Allison whispered as she locked the back door with her free hand. "But I think this deserves something good, yeah?"

Mei's skin felt all feverish again just from looking at her, but she tried to push it down. Allison eyed her face knowingly, pressed one last kiss to the back of Mei's knuckles and then dropped Mei's hand. It was not unlike something out of a fairytale. It was both embarrassing and charming at once.

"Small steps," Allison whispered, smiling, and led Mei to the kitchen. Mei grinned back.

Yeah. Small steps. She could do this.

Idly, Mei wondered where her cell phone was. She needed to text Nia as soon as possible and gush about the miraculous set of events that had transpired in only a few hours. The skin on her palm still tingled from where they had held hands.

She eyed Allison as she quietly popped the plastic cover off the cake. Something fluttered in her belly. Pleasantly, not dangerously.

She could call later. Tomorrow. Tomorrow was good. For now, she was going to enjoy this.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave a comment below with comments, questions, or critiques! Or hmu up at my tumblr (http://someobscurereference.tumblr.com/). I do love talking to people. And maybe you'll see more of this universe some day. (Though probably with different main characters.)


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